Cram Session
by Raifiel
Summary: It's test week at Norrisville high, but that doesn't mean that chaos takes a break. In fact, it's going all out as pretest jitters sweep the school. It's business as usual for Randy Cunningham (9th grade ninja), and as usual nothing goes to plan. Can he beat this gargantuan ghost of tests present before it demolishes the school?


A/N: Heheh, heeeeeey , long time no write! Actually, about that, I am weirded out that people are still faving/alerting/reviewing Garage Kids. Please stop: that thing is ancient and kinda embarrassing and I've only left it up here cuz I might one day revamp it. Maybe. Probably not. Cuz let's admit it: I'm a lazy pack rat...

Anyways! My extreme love for new fandoms sometimes causes me to write fanfiction still and this is one such case. I really honestly thought I would hate Randy Cunningham, and I did after watching the first episode. However I got bored and ended up watching the other new episodes and whoops those were awesome! So if you happened to have put me on alert like, ages ago and just clicked this out of curiosity (and you like children's cartoons still) go check it out, it's a pretty ace show.

As always I am not very confident in my writing skills, so feel free to review, tell me what you liked, what you didn't etc. Thanks guys!

+++++(0)~(0)+++++

In retrospect, it shouldn't have been that surprising. It was the first round of tests for the semester (and of course the teachers would conspire to schedule them all in the same week): stress levels were high and emotional issues abounded as hapless freshmen scrambled to acclimate to the more intensive high school environment. So really Randy should have been _expecting_ one of said balls of nerves to go off like a bomb (quite literally, it seemed: the boy in the front row went from sweating buckets at a mostly unanswered test to exploding outwards in a rainbow of colors and various, decidedly inhuman appendages).

In his defense, Randy had been busy himself: monsters and robots don't fight themselves after all, and despite what his grade average may suggest he did at least cram for each test. But regardless of whether he had seen it coming or not, there was no changing the fact that test week practically guaranteed at least one student spontaneously combusting into some grotesque creature (it was such a sure thing that some students counted on this for a delay in said testing schedule). So our ignorant hero was bravely in the middle of guesstimating a math problem when chaos erupted in the front of the classroom.

"Wheeew," sighed Howard, blithely dodging a desk in its trajectory towards the back of the room, "About time! I thought we might actually have to finish that one."

"Man, don't I know it." Randy slid under his desk, reaching for his backpack and its eagerly glowing contents while covertly pushing his test further into the line of fire. "Cover for me while I-" Randy was snatched mid-sentence from his spot by their teacher who had miraculously managed to herd the children at the front past the monster, unharmed.

"Cunningham!" Growled the large man, "What in blue blazes are you doing there! We need to evacuate!"

The beast at the front of the classroom, a sort of large elephantine thing that looked just the slightest bit transparent with bulging eyes, turned at the sound of their teacher's voice. Letting out a sound somewhere between a saw mill and an enraged elephant, the creature slammed its trunk into a nearby desk, aiming it towards the teacher's head.

"Rrrright behind you, sir!" Randy urged, shoving him towards the door (more of a gaping hole at this point) , away from the projectile, and taking a few convincing steps forwards as well before ducking behind a pile of plaster, desks, and chairs. "Civvies," he scoffed to himself while digging for his mask.

"Tell me about it," Howard drawled from his left, leaning almost casually again a chunk of what had used to be wall, "Sooo, what's the plan, Cunningham?"

Randy jumped a bit at the sight of his friend. In retrospect, he really shouldn't have expected Howard to think logically and leave with the rest of their classmates. "_Howard._" The word was more of a groaning statement than an exclamation of surprise. "What. The juice. Are you doing here?"

"Gearin' up to watch the Ninja in action." He grinned widely, crossing his arms, "Come **on**, Cunningham, you didn't think I would miss out on some ninja-butt kicking action."

"…Of course not." Randy gave his friend a flat look before risking a look at the rampaging beast that seemed to be vindictively eating the pile of spare tests from the teacher's desk while crushing the blackboard underfoot.

"So, what's the plan?"

"What do you think? It's _ninja o'clock_!" Randy grinned and waggled his eyebrows at Howard before pulling on the Ninja mask. He registered Howard's stubborn call of, "Lame!" as he felt the reassuring embrace of the suit surround him and power seep through his body.

Already in the air from the force of the transformation, Randy made a clean leap over much of the rubble in the room. "Alright, Ugly, let's see what you got!" Randy smoothly launched himself into an aerial ax kick aimed at the once-student's thick neck.

And passed harmlessly through it.

"What the.. Ninja roll!" Randy exclaimed unnecessarily as he rolled from underneath the deadly force of the creature's feet. "Uhhh… let's try something different." He slid the twin katana from their place, hidden in the back of the suit (honestly, even he wasn't even sure _where_ they really came from) and launched himself back towards the beast's legs. "Ninjaaaa cut-cut-cut-cut-cut," he grunted mostly to himself as he swung the blades at speeds almost too fast to be seen, but met no resistance nor did any damage.

"Greaaaat," the Ninja muttered to himself before a most definitely completely 100% solid trunk caught him at the waist and sent him reeling into the opposite wall to fall near Howard's feet.

"**Jeez**, Ninja, get it together!" The stout boy snarked at him, arms akimbo, "Althoughhh, it might not be a bad thing to demo our classroom like this, nice thinking!"

"Ooof," Randy slowly righted himself while glaring both at his flippant friend and the smug looking elephant-thing across the room. "'S not my fault! I can't touch that thing!" He whined a bit, standing swiftly as the pain (much less than if he hadn't been wearing the suit, that's for sure) faded. "We gotta bounce, Howard. I need to check the Ninjanomicon: maybe it knows how to destank this thing."

"Well you can't go Nomicon in here, man, I think that thing is getting bored with the teacher's stuff…" True to his word, the elephant creature had turned, picked up a backpack from the floor, and started to advance towards the back of the classroom.

Looking for an escape route, Randy glanced outside towards the mass of students who had been evacuated as per the school's emergency procedures. "I_got it_! We'll hide in the students!"

"Uhhh, I think they'll notice the Ninja just hanging around, bro." Howard cocked a brow at him and crossed his arms like there wasn't a two ton (probably? If it was intangible did it not have any weight?) creature lumbering clumsily towards them.

"I'll take off the suit once we're in the crowd. Let's go!" Grabbing his friend and his bag, the Ninja leapt swiftly through one of the many gaping holes in the wall. Slipping quickly behind the building and removing the armor, the two boys slunk over to the mass of children all blatantly ignoring school emergency policies about standing in lines organized by class.

At this point, most of the students who had been at Norrisville High for more than one year (and even the freshmen were beginning to catch on) were used to monster attacks. Sure, it was terrifying to almost be mauled or crushed on a weekly basis, but if it wasn't happening to you it could almost be entertaining and it wasn't like anyone had been seriously hurt (thanks to act two of the weekly entertainment: The Ninja). So it wasn't really any surprise that no one was paying much attention, least of all to the two boys huddled behind a tree.

Randy threw a nervous glance over his shoulder at the distant sounds of plaster crunching under the force of a creature too big to use the door, before squatting in the shade and pulling out the eagerly pulsing Ninjanomicon. "I'll try to make this quick. Howard, you keep watch."

"Yeah, yeah, I got it, Cunningham." Howard leaned casually against the tree and waved a hand in a shooing motion before folding his arms over his chest, the perfect image of nonchalance.

"Okay, Nomicon, throw some ninja knowledge on me.." Randy muttered as the book guided his fingers to one of its pages. He felt the familiar jerking sensation as he slipped away from the world around him and into the flowing, swirling words that seemed to surge up to meet him. Mixed in with the weird characters and symbols that he could only assume were Asian (Japanese? Chinese?) were several messy doodles of urban ninjas that sent playful jabs at him as he passed and notes about monsters written in chicken scratch so bad that he couldn't fully decipher them before he passed them by.

The landings on these trips into the book were variable in nature, but this time was a rough jolt, like the book was as nervous as he was about leaving the school temporarily unguarded. Randy didn't even get to voice his question before a wall of the weird symbols popped up, quickly overlain with messy highlights and illustrations.

_**TO FIGHT THE UNTOUCHABLE**_

_**YOU MUST ATTACK THAT WHICH YOU CAN TOUCH**_

Randy stared at the words, uncomprehending. "Oh, oh yeah. Thanks a_lot_, Nomicon!" he snarked at the colorful words before him (untouchable and touch had been highlighted in pink, as if that was supposed to help any), "Could you be any _less_ helpful?!" He stamped his foot on the ground.

The words gave a grouchy lurch and he felt the world shift before he was staring at a crudely drawn picture of a ghost coming out of a sword. One of the urban ninja doodles doing flips in his peripheral halted in its routine and did a (slightly mocking, in Randy's opinion) impression of his earlier attempts to attack the specter, to no effect, before turning and slicing through the sword. The ghost immediately disappeared.

"Ohhhhh! I get it! The monster may be untouchable, but that which he holds most dear _isn't_!" Randy grinned at his own comprehension, "Why didn't you just say that in the _first place_?"

The words around him began to swirl and move towards a grumpy looking fox mask that opened its maw. Randy recognized a pissy dismissal when he saw one and allowed himself to be sucked down, "_Jeez_, touchy much?" He closed his eyes in preparation for the disorienting process of returning to consciousness, but felt the world come to a jolting stop. The fox mask clapped its mouth shut, a couple symbols cut cleanly in half by the motion.

"What? What's going on?" Randy jumped as the fox mask suddenly turned into an angry red demonic mask and lots of neon scribbles swirled around. "**AAAaaaaaAAAhhh**_hhllook_, sorry if I upset you or something. Jeez. So **SO sorry**." In response the words only seemed to swirl more, increasingly agitated in their movements.

"Oh man, this is so **wonk** I am going to be killed by an angry book_ohjeez-ohjeez-ohjeez_" Randy tried to make himself small as one very pissed off looking neon stop sign whizzed by him.

After a while of freaking out and avoiding frantically swirling signs, Randy was starting to get frustrated (and a little bored-blame videogames) with the Ninjanomicon. What, was it PMSing (a phrase Howard assured him was synonymous with when a girl got really mad for no reason) or something? What was this book's honkin' problem? Risking a look around at the words flashing by, Randy realized he may have slightly misread the situation.

While he still had no idea what the symbols that seemed mostly like background to him meant (maybe he should think about studying Asian-was that a language?), the scribbles from past ninjas that the book usually used to communicate with him were making a bit more sense. Several ninjas were crossing their arms in an **X**, barring his path forward, while doodles of various stop signs swirled around. Clearly having been waiting for him to pay attention to it, the book began to scribble a message in the air.

_**ONE HAS BECOME TWO**_

_**THE DOOR CAN ONLY BE OPENED FROM THE OUTSIDE**_

Several neon, poisonous greed hazard signs accompanied this before the words scattered and a sketch of a shadow taking a book from a ninja played out before him.

"Yeah, I…think I got that one." Randy frowned. Great. Just great. He was so SHOOB'D. "I **told** Howard to keep watch! Man, I am going to _kill him_ when I get out of here," Randy threw a punch at one of the passing stop signs, his hand going right through it. He felt like throwing a mini tantrum. He should at least be able to let off a little steam before he had a panic attack. He might be stuck in here_forever_ for all he knew.

Fighting back the need to stomp around and yell at a friend who couldn't even hear him at the moment, Randy took a deep breath. "Okay, _okay_. So. How do we fix this?" He turned expectantly towards the biggest mask in the room, as if expecting it to open up and tell him the answer. Instead, the world shifted a bit and he found himself staring back at the words from before:

_**THE DOOR CAN ONLY BE OPENED FROM THE OUTSIDE**_

The phrase was now highlighted in blue with scribbled, jolting lines surrounding the word 'OUTSIDE'.

"Ah." Randy said faintly, plopping down on the "surface" of the book. "Perfect. So I just gotta wait. That will end well." A ninja near him gave a jolting motion suggesting a shrug and Randy slouched further into his own lap.

It was a surprisingly short wait, all things considered. Fifteen minutes later and Randy was jerked from moving letters floating around to spell out things like _BUTT_ and _FART BOX_ towards a sudden spiraling vortex in the page.

He jerked forward with a strangled gasp, promptly slamming his head into Howard's. The shorter boy was sort of fallen on top of him, shoving the Nomicon into his chest. To his left Mrs. Driscoll let out a shout of "Oh my!", clearly having been in the middle of shouting at Howard. A small group of students was gathered around, staring, while the large majority still seemed to be watching the one monster wrecking crew in the school.

"_Cunningham_, are you all right? What in the world _happened_ to you?" For once, Mrs. Driscoll appeared much more worried than angry at him, but Randy was a little too worried about uncomfortable questions involving masks and magic books to fully appreciate that at the moment.

Ignoring the pain in his forehead, Randy shoved Howard off with a grunt, springing up and kicking the Ninjanomicon under his bag as he grinned widely at his science teacher. "Oh…nothing, Mrs. Driscoll. Just, thought I'd catch some Z's while we were out here!"

Mrs. Driscoll stared at him, one eyebrow pushing the human limits of being raised into her hairline. "You were sleeping… _with your eyes open?_"

"Yes?" Randy hazarded. "I mean, yes! Of course. The Brucest way to sleep!"

"We…couldn't wake you…Weinerman here had to practically slap you with a book." The other eyebrow was joining the first and both were further ascending into the heavens. "Are you sure you didn't get hit in the head? Several times?"

"Ha**HA**ha! **NO!** I'm just a..heavy sleeper you know! Us teenagers! You'd have to use a blow horn to get us out of bed! Haha ha…" Admittedly, the sweat and shifting eyes probably weren't helping his case.

"Hmph, well. Perhaps you should visit the infirmary after we can get back in the school, just in case." She got up, still staring at him like she expected to see him bleeding out of both ears any moment now, but turned and headed back towards the majority of the student body. The other students, confirming that there was no blood or gore to be found here, followed her lead.

Randy whirled on Howard, radiating heavy doses of _"I'll kill you"_. "Listen, Cunningham-" Howard started, an argumentative look on his face but his hands held up in a placating gesture. However, his defense was cut off by a particularly loud crash from the school.

"We. Will be talking. About this later." Randy stalked towards his bag, hesitantly grabbing the book and shoving it in. Thank god no one had looked through his stuff while he was out. Grabbing the ninja mask once again, he darted back towards the school, throwing a "You had better actually cover for me this time!" at Howard.

Slipping on the suit once again and re-entering the school through another hole, Randy followed the obvious noises of an elephant ghost wrecking the place. The principal's office as it turned out. The creature had been busy while he was "out" and several other classrooms had been ransacked before the thing had made its way to the offices.

"Let me guess…Those are where your tests are," Randy smirked, "Not a half bad idea, big guy, mind taking care of mine as well?" The elephant turned towards him, a backpack Randy vaguely recognized from earlier swinging from its trunk. "And weak point spotted! Get ready to be destanked, jumbo!"

Pulling a single sword free, Randy dashed forward, crowing out a triumphant "Ninjaaaa suh-lice!" as he slit the backpack open.

And nothing happened.

Oh, except for Sir-Crush-a-lot getting angry as cheese.

"Well then." Randy stated flatly as the creature charged at him. He leapt nimbly over the beast, towards the once-backpack. "Cruuuuud what did I do wrong? If it isn't the _backpack_, what could it _be_?" He glanced frantically through the pile of stuff before something caught his eye.

"Oh you have _got_ to be **kidding** me."

He whirled around, glaring at the elephant thing, which took a surprised step back at the unexpected change. "A _**cheat sheet**_?" Randy waved the incriminating paper accusingly at the beast. "Really? All this trouble. Because you couldn't use your **cheat. sheet.**" With each of the last two words, Randy brazenly smacked at elephantor with the flimsy paper. The paper passed through the creature, and, his moment of shock past, he reared back for a powerful blow.

In response to which Randy simply tore the sheet in two.

The expected oozing cloud of green stank plumed forth and instead of an elephant bearing down on his head, Randy was forced to catch the comparably lighter form of his classmate, saving him from falling ten feet to the floor.

"You know what? This is your mess, you can stew in it." Randy dropped the two halves of the cheat sheet on the unconscious boy's head before stomping out of the office. He briefly considered making an appearance as the ninja outside to let the school know it was safe, but he had had enough trouble today and totally deserved a nap by this point.

Frown firmly in place, he slunk across the grounds back towards Howard. "Okay, **buddy**, this had _better_ be the best excuse I have _ever_ heard." He crossed his arms as he prepared himself for another Howard story.

"Okay, first of all, let me say that this was **not** really my fault!" Howard frowned back, defensively, "I mean, you were the one who didn't leave with the class, so of _course_ they had to come looking for you!" Howard was waving his arms around expressively and squinting at Randy like he expected an apology, but Randy wasn't feeling that generous just yet.

"So, of course I can't let them see the Nomicon, right? So I grab it and hide it in your bag, right?"

"Yeah. Small problem. That _traps me inside the book_."

"Oh. Thaaat would explain why you wouldn't wake up."

"Ya think?"

"Hey! _I'm_ the one who got you the book back and woke you up anyways right? I don't see how this is my fault! I'm the one who saved you!" Howard crossed his arms firmly over each other for a moment before the wall caved and he glanced quickly at his friend. "You are okay, right? That didn't, like, mess with your system?"

Randy sighed, Howard was right, he had helped out (even if he was the one who had trapped him in the book in the first place) and he meant well. "I…yeah man, that _really_ wonked, but I'm cool. We're cool." Howard unfolded at the familiar phrase that it seemed half their friendship was built around and slung his arm loosely around Randy's shoulders.

"See, told you ol' Howard would keep an eye out for you!"

"Yeah, sure Howard, just… next time why don't you just dump me in a ditch or something. That'd probably be less trouble."


End file.
